Off With Her Head
by Drarry Contributor
Summary: Harry, the king of Wonderland, has escaped the gardens to go visit his friends for the first time after three years. Draco, the Queen, is not happy. Nor is he happy that Ginny just loves Harry Potter. Drarry crack


Harry frowned to himself as he walked out of the gardens knowing that if he takes a step out then his husband, "Queen" of this world, will destroy him in a blind fury. But even so, the grass looks greener just past the garden and that forest really does look friendly. Taking a step outside the Queen's garden and towards the outside world… Harry felt a sort of relief as he began to walk through the forest in search of his old friends.

The ground was a bit soggy, and attempted to slide through his cloth shoes. Draco claimed they looked much more fashionable than the practical shoes of this place but Harry much preferred the cake shoes to these cloth ones. The grass really was much greener, almost to the point where it was a deep neon color.

Three years ago, Draco Malfoy, the Queen of Wonderland decided to capture Harry Potter and make him his King. Only problem was, it took Draco a week before he finally figured out his new husband's name. It's kind of pathetic if you think about it, but Harry was doing his best not to think about it. Instead he nodded at the large and beautiful flowers around him who all giggled and greeted him in response.

Harry grinned and headed the familiar way to where his friends spend their time. The path had a few more twigs and plants strewn across the pathway but Harry knew how to get here. He's always known. Harry Potter is going home, and even if it can't be for forever, he'll still be able to go home for a little bit. The sounds of laughter echoed somewhere farther ahead. If someone asked, Harry could name whose laugh was whose, except for one. There was a large bush that covered where his friends are enjoying themselves but he just crawled through the opening and realized in annoyance that he's gotten a little pudgy since being the Queen's pet. But he made it through just fine, even though he's not the scrawny little boy they had all known and loved.

There was Ron with his large hat drinking a cup of sugar, he seemed ecstatic as he told a story that they've all heard a hundred times or more. Hermione was next to him dosing but whenever he poked her or mentioned her name, she would look up and smile softly before agreeing or disagreeing with whatever he had to say, and then she would rest once more. Neville was busy keeping pace with Ron and laughing about the most idiotic things that would come from the ginger's mouth but he was happy and even encouraged it. Everything was just as it always is with them… except in his chair there is a girl.

A scowl slid across his features and for a wild moment, Harry almost shouted, "Off with her head!" But he managed to control himself and grimaced knowing full well that he's been with Draco for far too long. "Oh look it's the ditcher!" Neville cried and waved Harry over as though this was all planned. The tea party goers all looked up at once and waved while sending cheerful vulgar greetings like usual.

"You can't sit next to me, mate. That chair's full." Ron informed him while pointing to an empty chair. Hermione nodded and smiled before slowly drifting back into her light slumber. The new girl just nodded and began to smooth her clothes as though it had suddenly become wrinkly or worse… dead.

"Well aren't you special?" Neville said and began to go on about a court appearance, wasn't sure who was up for trial but it was a wonderful story and we all laughed. They began to talk and grin; everyone had so much to say and so much to complain about! Everyone either had too much tea in their cups or too much cups in their tea, it was a ridiculous mess that Harry missed with a passion. He enjoyed it… this memory he had to hold onto for so long and now he gets to relive it! That's more than anything he could have ever received at the castle.

The new girl, with flowing red hair and beautiful big brown eyes, watched him looking a bit… like she was drunk. She kept trying to push her chest out and kept _blinking_ at him while shifting closer, honestly it was freaking him out. "So how is the missus?" Hermione asked with a slur and a soft smile. Her drunken face would have fooled anyone but her eyes were sharp.

Harry took in a deep breath as the new girl beside him held her own; she looked stunned and immediately eyed the heart and crown ring on his ring finger on his left hand. The hearts were green and the crowns silver while the band was shaped like snake scales. A lovely ring to be sure but even so he didn't want it. It was a sign of being owned and no longer having the right to be human in a way, he was just a servant of the Queen with a fancy title. He was only here because of his ass after all.

"The missus is at home probably wondering where I've gone… please don't bring him up, Hermione." Harry grumbled and began drinking his tea moodily.

"We haven't seen you in ages and that's all you've got to say?" Ron demanded but then began to pour sugar into his mouth. Hermione rolled her eyes at him and gave Harry an apologetic look while the new girl blinked at us.

"Ron, he's been locked away for three years, get over it and enjoy the time he has with us." Hermione spat while Neville blinked drowsily.

"Harry did you meet… Ginny something or other? She's lost and just showed up, isn't that funny?" Neville asked with a grin making Harry nod and glance over at the redhead who was beaming at him.

"So this marriage you are in is forced?" She asked curiously making him nod as he sipped his tea, not really understanding why this Ginny person is bothering with him. Harry nodded and yawned widely, just in time for the Queen's guards to run in and begin to ruin the lovely tea party.

"Switch seats!" Ron cried and stood up abruptly. Neville soon followed suit along with a drowsy Hermione. I scooted down the assortment of chairs as Ginny clung to my side. When we were on the opposite end of the table, the guards began to follow us looking bored and a bit annoyed just as a fussy voice sounded.

"Get your hands _off of me_! If that new little whore so much as laid a hand on Harry I will personally chop off her head." The voice spat letting Harry know who is was instantly.

"The missus is back." Hermione informed us all cheerfully and became wide awake almost immediately. It seems as though she's been waiting for this. Ginny blinked in surprise then looked at us all with wide stunned eyes as though shocked that the Queen would refer to her as a whore.

"Harry, my sex slave, are you near?" Draco called as the sound of someone shuffling through the brush was heard. Soon enough he arrived at the tea party. Everyone sent him a wave and began drinking again; well, all except Ginny who was still mad at being referred to as a slut. "Harry, why didn't you answer when I called for you?" He scowled and moved over to wrap his arms around his beloved King.

Draco Malfoy was wearing a dress, and it wasn't just any dress. It had life size hearts all over it and a vest and such. It was beautiful, but it looked to be more suited for a girl rather than him. But the Queen seemed to handle the dress like it was normal for him to wear it, which began to question his tastes in the bedroom. His attention, however, was more focused on Harry who should not be here. "I didn't answer when you called because I didn't want to be sent home when I only just arrived and began having fun with my old friends." He spat then stood up and ran through the forest with Ginny close at his heels. It was natural for Harry to run away when being given the opportunity to escape being locked up again. He would gladly run as much as possible, except for the fact that he's gotten pig-like and hasn't run in a good long while.

It wasn't a long run; Harry always knows exactly where he's going when running through these familiar trees. Blinking roughly, he stopped in front of a man with oily black hair and dark eyes with a large nose. "Oh look, it's the caterpillar." He smirked while Snape just looked up at him in annoyance, his eyes widened slightly when he saw Ginny and soon his lips were curling into a malevolent smile.

The caterpillar has always been a bit of a bastard to Harry. It's like he hates his guts just for being born into this world, but then again, with a nickname like caterpillar it's hard to blame him for hating an innocent bystander. Although, once hated, Harry doesn't tend to hold much back when it comes to insults and anger.

"I should tell the Queen what I've witnessed here. Harry Potter is gallivanting through the woods with his new little girlfriend. My King, must you cheat on the Queen so openly?" Snape said with a cunning look on his face, it was obvious he was going to run off and tell Draco the news but Harry didn't care. The caterpillar is out of date already, Draco knows that Harry has been with Ginny and he probably even knows they're both still together. Harry couldn't bring himself to stay any longer. Snape was looming closer and he still has placing he wants to go before finally heading back to his jailhouse.

"Go ahead," Was all Harry could manage before sliding on by in search of the Duchess's house. It shouldn't be too far from here… in fact, just a quarter mile later, they arrived. It was an odd house, painted a mix of pastel colors at random but for some reason it still looked beautiful and unique. This is the home of a young woman named Luna Lovegood and her annoying cook, Pansy Parkinson. Ginny seemed too curious to turn back now so she continued to follow Harry, much to his annoyance. He allowed her to and walked inside the elegant house just in time to see Pansy throwing several different fruits including, rotting apples, tomatoes, oranges, bananas, and grapes all at Luna who was idly drinking tea while the fruits fell around her. At one point a grape landed in her tea, but the young girl didn't seem to mind. Instead she simply plopped it into her mouth and turned to smile at Harry and Ginny. He beamed at her and walked forward to give his old friend a pat on the head (which is something you do to crazy people to help bring their brains back) when a tomato hit the side of his face. His smile was still plastered to his face as he turned to look at Pansy.

"You filthy little witch! You change your mind every five minutes! How am I supposed to work in these conditions! You don't pay me nearly enough for this!" The dark haired woman screamed, but Luna just blinked in surprise and glanced over at her.

"I don't pay you at all, Pansy." Luna informed her with a dazed and dreamy look on her face. Pansy just howled her frustrations one last time before storming down to the basement. "Nice to see you again, Harry. It's been three years since I last saw you, you know." She informed him with her same smile, but he looked at her sheepishly as though the young woman had scolded him.

"I was… busy, but I would have come by if I could! How is Neville doing?" Harry asked swiftly, wanting to change the subject as soon as possible. Ginny glanced around the fruit filled room until she finally found a place to sit and began relaxing herself with mild poses here and there. They were all pretty although her clothes shifted in certain ways that made Harry uncomfortable but Ginny didn't seem to notice as she kept _blinking_ at him.

"Neville is on trial, the poor boy. He should have known better than to plant white roses of all things." Luna tutted and said no more. Harry stood there in shock before giving her that look making the young woman laugh. "His court appearance is in three hours, you'll do what you can, I trust?" She asked looking amused. This isn't the first time he's protected his friends from the missus, but it is the first time he's hearing it from them rather than a guard. "Go ahead and have your fun, I'll be here as always. You haven't seen the twins yet have you, or the Cheshire?" She asked and sipped her tea once more. Harry nodded and then stood up to go when Luna threw the cup in Ginny's direction.

"What did you do that for?" She cried in annoyance as her red hair curved around her pretty face. Luna just smiled softly and gave her a little finger wave.

"Come see me again soon." Luna said softly then turned and left. It was probably the most flirtatious Harry had ever seen her.

Luna is very mysterious, the only person who really knows her would be Pansy Parkinson and that woman hates everyone who isn't Draco Malfoy. Because she hates everyone, no one has gotten to know Luna any better, so it came as a bit of a shock finding out that the asexual young cryptic woman turns out to be a lesbian, or at least bisexual. Harry almost wanted to know more but he was scared.

"We should see more, you haven't been here long right? Why don't I show you the sights?" Harry beamed making Ginny smile seductively in return. Walking together they headed outside toward the middle of the forest feeling as though the world was on their side for once since they didn't come across any of the Queen's knights or men. Draco won't give up until his beloved King is home, this much is obvious.

"Do you know where you're going?" Ginny asked nervously making Harry laugh and spin around to look at her. It was weird talking to someone who isn't used to this world.

"We have to get lost to find him of course." He said as though Ginny didn't know anything, which in this world, that's rather accurate. Soon enough a black boy appeared, dangling on a branch overhead. "Ah, hello Blaise," Harry beamed making the boy grin widely down at him.

"So this is the Cheshire?" Ginny asked curiously, not seeing the resemblance to a cat in the slightest, but the boy just smirked in response and began to retort.

"So is this the whore?" He returned making the redhead gasp. Harry and Blaise ignored her then and began to smile at each other. "How are you, my jailbait friend?" Blaise asked curiously, suddenly standing beside Harry with his arm around the young King's waist.

"I'm alright… going around saying hello while finding out that Neville is up for beheading again." Harry informed him with a grimace. There was a slight breeze and then Blaise was twenty feet ahead looking sheepish.

The trees around them were covered in Fall leave, with so many different colors such as red, silver, and blue. They would be falling soon like rain on a lazy spring day. Most likely Harry wouldn't get to see it though. It's cruel and the guards take no pity on him after walking in on too many moments where Draco has Harry stripped and bound in random places around his room. "You won't be able to come out again after today… but you know, I could talk to our dearest Queen! I'm an old friend and he just has to listen to me!" Blaise beamed but then he frowned and made a 'brushing off' motion with his hand. "Forget Neville, he's going to die one of these days, might as well save your neck now."

Harry looked his friend over with a quiet musing look on his face. "Thank you for your advice… and I hope I can come out again soon… please don't talk to Draco, last time you did he locked me up in his room for a week and wouldn't let me say anyone else's name but his. What on earth did you say to him?" Harry demanded but his old friend was gone only leaving a path with a hand in the air pointing toward it. Scowling to himself he grabbed hold of Ginny's wrist; the girl was currently gaping at the hand but still looking mildly insulted.

Blaise has always been a bit of a mystery around these woods. He comes and goes as he pleases while flirting whenever he likes. No one has managed to capture him or beat the hell out of him but that doesn't mean that no one has tried. He's a bit of a man-whore although no one has confessed to being with him, but that doesn't mean no one has.

They continued through the forest until reaching a small hut which had paint splattered all over it. The house didn't look as though someone had designed it; rather, it looked as though bombs had gone off. Entering the house, Ginny gasped aloud at the sheer mess of it all. Confetti everywhere, dung bombs in the corners, candy strewn about. It was beautiful. Well… not really, more like a disaster but all the same, two heads popped out looking exactly alike.

The last time Harry was here, their hair was long, around shoulder length. It was around the time that they had begun working on puking pastels for the Queen's parities, he had helped out with the designs but oddly enough it was three days later that the Queen saw him for the first time and stole him away. Apparently Fred and George have been laughing ever since but Harry hasn't gotten to hear it until now.

"Oi Fred, it's Harry."

"Oi George, it's Ginny."

The twins glanced at each other and then laughed before moving out of the doorway to talk to them. "You are going to be late, mate." George grinned but Fred just looked at his fellow redhead and frowned.

"That was terribly corny." Fred informed him then turned to Harry with a frown. "I thought we were supposed to be seeing you at the court house! Not now!" He whined and turned to his brother who shrugged.

"Is this the fortune telling thing you made?" Ginny asked. For a moment Harry was curious how she knew them and they knew her but frankly he wasn't curious enough to care.

"So do you want me to leave?" Harry asked slowly making the twins nod quickly. He just shrugged and left, a little surprised that they didn't want him to stick around but it didn't really bother him. The twins are crazy most of the time, along with the rest of his friends, but he was smiling to himself thinking of the treacle tarts he'd usually be feasting on this time of day. Instead of doing that his legs were burning from having walked so much and he was exhausted from talking to so many people. Glancing at the sun he realized that the poor little Neville will be needing him soon.

Harry could hear Ginny cry out but when he turned around he didn't see anyone, so he ignored the feelings of fear in his stomach, figuring it was probably just his hungry belly demanding food. Harry paused then grinned widely knowing exactly where to go in order to get food, and it's also on the way to the court place.

It didn't take long to get to the castle but it did take a while to sneak past the guards so that Draco wouldn't know he was home. Walking into the kitchen he grabbed three treacle tarts and began to walk outside to the High Court. Harry walked along the edge where the hedges were tall and he was well hidden, the closer he got the more he saw everything like the chairs for anyone who wanted to watch, the stand for Neville to stand on, while Draco sat on his high horse looking tense and severely annoyed.

Fred and George were laughing towards the back and making several crude jokes about the day Neville will finally die. Ginny was blocking out her ears looking bored and annoyed as she attempted to escape only to have Ron and Hermione stop her. The brunette was yawning constantly while leaning against Ron but he was cheering on his good friend as though this was a sport. It seems as though Draco has his hands full here, but Harry didn't feel even a speck of pity for him.

"Off with his head." Draco sighed and waved Neville off. The poor boy was blubbering and begging Draco to understand but the Queen would hear none of it.

"Hold on!" Harry called out, his mouth full of his sweet. Everyone stared at him with wide eyes; the Queen in particular looked to be dealing with a swirl of emotions involving horror, shock, relief, love, hatred, and bitterness. "Neville is clumsy sometimes, get over it." He continued and then walked over to his friend, he placed his arm on Neville's shoulder then yawned mildly, tired from the day's adventures.

"Well you look stupid!" The Queen retorted but then bit his lip as though not quite sure what to think or do, he was acting idiotic and he knew it too. Draco always acts like an idiot when it comes to Harry Potter but if someone points it out then they lose their head. "You know what, forget it. Neville just go home and fuck your wife before I finally chop off your head." It came out as a groan but he didn't seem to mind as the poor little Neville ran away.

"You're in a good mood." Harry pointed out and began to lick his fingers, the treacle tarts already gone. It took seven seconds for Draco to cross the courtyard in his dress to get to Harry. Grabbing him by the sides of his waist he began to kiss his husband roughly and with as much power and passion as possible. It took less than two seconds for them to wind up on the ground with Draco on top and the courtyard cleared.

"You are such a fucking bastard." Draco growled, his lips beginning to slide down Harry's neck as he moaned softly. Sure Harry was forced into this marriage but somewhere after the first year he began to love Draco back, although Harry still calls the marriage a forced bond.

"I know… but you love me anyway." Harry murmured making Draco grunt in response, pushing his lover back lightly, green eyes bored hard into gray. "I need to see my friends more."

"No."

"I'm filing for a divorce then."

"Fuck you."

"Not if you don't let me go."

"Fine."

"Good boy." Harry smirked and leaned forward to bite Draco's lower lip.

Thoughts about Ginny were forgotten from the raven, but Draco knew that Ginny couldn't be protected forever and its only a matter of time before a guard will find her.

Off with her head~!


End file.
